I’m part of a facebook group for “introverts, homebodies, and loners”  There was a post there from a man who hadn’t left his house for 3 years. Too much anxiety.  

It strikes me that Mexico is the opposite of that. Everyone is out, together, with no seeming anxiety, eating, walking, going shopping. Participating in whatever event is happening, and there are many.

Why are they not addicted to the ease of trying for another dopamine hit in front of a screen, instead of the anxiety producing activities of being in a society?

Maybe the US got too full of anxiety. I noticed, when I got here to Mexico, that I was immediately on guard for anyone shaming or condemning me (those are strong words but it’s really what it is). About how I walked my dogs, about their behavior or mine, about driving or parking. About not speaking Spanish very well. About anything I talked about. About everything.

But there is no fear of that here. Privacy and independence are valued here. You’re expected to mind your own business. And at the same time there is a standard of civility and politeness. More than that really, people see others in the street that they know, and they shout greetings across the street. There are many smiles and people seem more relaxed. No one seems ready to be pounced on.

Remember when we were kids and people used to say “it’s a free country” a lot? I haven’t heard that in years. It’s another way of saying you can do what you want (within the law). Your independence is your sovereignty, and that’s your birthright in this country.  

That seems kind of dead now, with every one commenting, rating, judging, condemning, canceling each other. How did we allow this to happen?

I realize now that I had become very guarded in my own country. Life online has become so unfriendly and viciously confrontational, even in normal groups. So many people spend so much time online that that meanness and hostility naturally carries over into real life. How can it not when it’s our reality for as many hours as we sit watching screens?

The shaming and self righteous virtue signaling has become so pervasive in the States that it’s making very unhappy people. When you get your self value from being morally right when others are wrong, and that’s the highest value in society, anxiety is pervasive. 

It’s just easier, and more comfortable, to not interact with others. Especially when you can get pseudo relationships online (and soon from robots).

This, in combination with the destruction of communities, from churches to the Elks clubs, and our allowance of children to isolate, (in fact many parents insist on it), in fear of the outside world, puts us deeper into our silos.

Combine that with tribal ideologies that are like mind viruses, and you get a very isolated and hostile atmosphere. The only sense of belonging is from like minded people on the internet, who agree and encourage more extreme ideology, and make the others evil, to be fought and destroyed.

When you can’t even soften your heart and consider another’s experience, even a family member, because you are so invested in your beliefs and ideology. When you feel attacked and threatened when someone has a different idea, as if they are threatening your very self.

Well, if being involved in this group-think is the most important thing to your sense of self, that you cannot consider anything else, even with EVIDENCE, then clearly it’s not real. It’s not true.

But that doesn’t matter because it’s not about what’s true or real. It’s about your faith and virtue in your chosen religious movement.  Cult-like, isn’t it?

One of the reasons I was desperate to leave the working environment at the hospital after so many years, was the required compliance to corporate values, some of them explicit and some implicit. It was turning into some crazy, awful reality that I didn’t want to participate in.

Most of these values were about making money for the hospital. Though the hospital would craft emotional and touching commercials about how it cared for patients and was an important moral pillar of the community, on the back end, behind the scenes, it was much different. It was all about saving money, making money, and wringing as much work out of employees as possible, without regard to them as individual people. And then maybe a thought about the patients.

In the latter part of my career the influence of DEI and the Healthcare Equality Index (HEI), and the financial pressure implemented by some organizations, lead to pressure for employees to comply with things going way beyond money making ideology.

Last year we were forced to participate in “education modules” with biases that did not sit well with many of us. We were supposed to use language not congruent with our reality. The price of not complying could be anything from ostracizing to firing. I knew that if I stayed it would be a matter of time before I had a confrontation about these things with someone.

The price of not being able to tell the truth, over years of time, is crushing. If you submit to it, it makes you angry. Lots of angry, lonely people out there.

This is another form of group-think forced on unwilling people. If you don’t hold the same ideology you could be forced out, and when it’s your livelihood, you can’t just say “it’s a free country” and go on doing your job (talk about producing anxiety!). Some corporations won’t allow it.

The highest values in the United States are no longer truth or independence. 

(It shouldn’t have to be said, but with so many people presuming the worst, and in case you don’t know me, I have the strong conviction that equality under the law should be guaranteed for every person regardless of their gender identity, sexual orientation, race, etc..)